**Disconnected**
It's strange. I have been wanting to sit down and write up an entry for almost a month now...but every time I sit down and try, nothing comes. I feel like I have all this inside I want to post about, and yet...nothing at all. My life is boring and empty, and I really feel is disconnected from everyone and everything around me.
It's been almost a month since graduation. I don't feel any different. I mostly just feel lazy, to be honest. I've been down in Corpus ever since the 15th of May. I really meant to go back to Houston last week...honest I did...but I didn't.
I think part of it is because I don't want to go back. I don't want to face what "being graduated" means...
So I idle at home, doing nothing better with my time but playing World of Warcraft and making cheesy graphics. I watch some TV and some movies and some anime, but it's all mostly nonproductive. What happened to all the plans I had? I don't know. What happened to all the goals I was going to set for myself and work towards? Beats me.
I sit at home almost every day...doing absolutely nothing worthwhile...and I'm too lazy to feel like I need to do anything about it. Frankly, it's beginning to depress me.
I thought I was going to go back to Houston on Monday...but I didn't. And then I figured, hey, why not Tuesday to avoid the mad Memorial Day traffic rush...which didn't pan out. I convinced myself that I wanted to stay and see if I could spend some more time with my dad, but that's not really happening.
I keep making excuses for myself because I don't want to go back to Houston and face the reality I inevitably need to. Here in Corpus, I can disconnect myself from every thing and every one. I don't like losing touch, but at the same time, the avoidance of it all keeps away the reminders that I will eventually have to go back to Houston.
And I do this all the time.
I have to go back this weekend, though. I have to. I cannot leave any choices for myself.
Sometimes it's so hard to make myself disconnect from WoW...for some reason, it's harder to reconnect to the Real World.
It's been almost a month since graduation. I don't feel any different. I mostly just feel lazy, to be honest. I've been down in Corpus ever since the 15th of May. I really meant to go back to Houston last week...honest I did...but I didn't.
I think part of it is because I don't want to go back. I don't want to face what "being graduated" means...
So I idle at home, doing nothing better with my time but playing World of Warcraft and making cheesy graphics. I watch some TV and some movies and some anime, but it's all mostly nonproductive. What happened to all the plans I had? I don't know. What happened to all the goals I was going to set for myself and work towards? Beats me.
I sit at home almost every day...doing absolutely nothing worthwhile...and I'm too lazy to feel like I need to do anything about it. Frankly, it's beginning to depress me.
I thought I was going to go back to Houston on Monday...but I didn't. And then I figured, hey, why not Tuesday to avoid the mad Memorial Day traffic rush...which didn't pan out. I convinced myself that I wanted to stay and see if I could spend some more time with my dad, but that's not really happening.
I keep making excuses for myself because I don't want to go back to Houston and face the reality I inevitably need to. Here in Corpus, I can disconnect myself from every thing and every one. I don't like losing touch, but at the same time, the avoidance of it all keeps away the reminders that I will eventually have to go back to Houston.
And I do this all the time.
I have to go back this weekend, though. I have to. I cannot leave any choices for myself.
Sometimes it's so hard to make myself disconnect from WoW...for some reason, it's harder to reconnect to the Real World.
posted by Julsey at 1:23 AM
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